It was payday. All that really meant, though, was that my husband would not be home this evening. And when he did come home…eventually…he would be broke. Broke and full of excuses. One week his story was that his friends had been out of food so he had took his check and bought them groceries. It didn’t matter that our own cabinets were bare and two kids were hungry.
It didn’t matter that he didn’t come home all weekend. That he wouldn’t answer his phone. That the people from the car lot had come by, asking me where he was, wanting to repossess his truck. Really, nothing mattered to him. Not even his marriage.
Later, it was confirmed that it had indeed been drugs. Crack to be exact. Yes, he worked every day. And every Friday without fail he would cash his check and head right around the corner to his ‘friends’ house. There, the money would disappear…and so would my husband. The tipping point was when I found a crack pipe at our house. The children and I packed our things and left.
It would be much later that he would admit to me about the crack and even the meth. He would admit to the lies and tell me how he had gotten addicted. And it would be years before our marriage reconciled and before he was finally free from drug addiction. It would be one night when he laid beside me, his heart racing so fast that we both thought he would die, from crack. The whole story would finally come out. And healing would begin.
For an addict’s spouse, life is a hard reality of sorting through lies. Patience will be stretched to the limits. Marriages will not be happy ones. Children will suffer, if not from the lack of a parent, then from the lack of funds to provide for them, due to the addiction. Spouses will suffer from near nervous break-downs, unpaid bills, financial stress and more. And for most addicts, there are no happy endings.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are a few who make it out of the dark pits they have found themselves in. Some people overcome by sheer will power. Others, by faith. Still others seek help from programs that try to help them recover. They live productive lives. The get good jobs. They become, once again, loving spouses.
I know this because I have lived it. My husband has overcome.
Start your search for a treatment center now by clicking here: Home